What Ted Lasso Taught Me

The character Ted Lasso has lessons for anyone who thinks about being a mentor. Credit: tv.apple.com

I’ve become a fan of Ted Lasso, both the show and the main character.

I’d heard about the Apple TV show but hadn’t watched it until a friend told me about an episode shot in Amsterdam. Since my husband and I just returned from there, watching the show would be like a travelogue.

In this episode, one of the young soccer players goes into a gay bar. Shortly after he arrived, someone else from their group – a reporter who writes about the team – also walked in.

It was an embarrassing moment for both of them because the young player wasn't out to any of his teammates and this older reporter, same thing. So it was awkward and they stumbled over each other for a little bit.

But the player says something very interesting. He said that he was relieved to talk to this other man about his being gay because he had been isolated for a long time. It’s almost as though he's been living two different lives – his player life and his personal life.

He talked about having a dream and in the dream he was told that you need to think about unifying those two lives into one. Be what people call your authentic self.

This was tightly written, witty and moving at the same time. It was a great message. So I decided it sounds like I should watch the rest of this and started from the first episode. I ended up binge watching because it's one of those things like potato chips, you can't just get by with one.

If you don’t know the show, the premise is Ted Lasso is a basketball coach from Kansas who is hired to coach a U.K. soccer team by a woman who got the team in a divorce. She’s hoping he’ll ruin the team and she’ll get back at her ex.

Well, Ted Lasso is enormously successful. He coaches and mentors people in a very positive way. He doesn't drag people down, doesn't put them down, doesn't stigmatize them and finds the best of every situation.

It's just very gratifying to watch because the style is really disarming.

Watching this guy Ted Lasso has also been helpful to me for my own coaching and mentoring style, to work on stripping away the last vestiges of that angry, edgy, overly sarcastic stuff.

I know I've been difficult in the past, but for the last many years I've been much more of a grandfatherly type of person that people respect and I don't think there are too many people who are afraid of me. I make a conscious effort to give people some dignity and coaching and positive reinforcement.

But if there's any of that edgy stuff left, it's going to be gone. And I'll tell you, watching the character Ted Lasso in action is pretty good.

It is a series of life lessons.