Seeing the AIDS Quilt for the first time

AIDS Memorial Quilt on the National Mall. Credit: nlm.nih.gov

In 1987, the AIDS Memorial Quilt was in Rochester at Monroe Community College. At that point, more than 20,000 people had died of AIDS in the US, some of them my own patients.

I finally talked myself into going and went alone.

Seeing hundreds of Quilt squares spread out on the MCC gym floor was overwhelming, considering it was the height of the epidemic and people were dying, even though AZT, the first AIDS drug, had been introduced just a few months earlier. 

The unfolding of The Quilt is a sobering ceremony. Volunteers, dressed all in white, unfold the Quilt panels with respectnd in silence while the audience watches.

Once the entire Quilt is unfolded, the audience can go onto the display floor and walk among the panels and view them up close. As I was walking around, I began to realize the true devastation of this epidemic – the panels are often very personal and contain photographs, clothing, shoes, notes, books and letters that belonged to people who died.

Of course, I saw some panels that were tributes to friends and patients. I remember standing frozen among the Quilt panels and feeling dizzy with the room spinning around me. One of the Quilt volunteers, a man I knew from our local community, came up to me and said, “You look like you need a hug.”

My mouth was parched and I couldn’t get the words out, so I just nodded yes and put my head on his shoulder and sobbed.

I’ve seen displays of Quilt panels since then. Usually there is a small number of panels displayed at some event or other. It is still moving – even more so when the display contains the panels of people we know.