Make someone comfortable — start the conversation

Megan Heilveil is in the fourth of her five years in the physician assistant program at Rochester Institute of Technology. One thing she’d yet to hear was how to ask about sexual health without shutting down a conversation.

So for an assignment on a topic important to future physician assistants, she chose communication about sexual orientation and gender identity.

“This isn’t covered anywhere else in our program,” she said.

I was invited to Megan’s class and was impressed that the presentation hit themes that providers often aren’t taught. I addressed taking a sexual history in a report a couple of years ago and will talk about that in another post.

For now, I want to focus on Megan and her message to allies, which she summed up in the video a the top of this blog post.

“It’s important to start the conversation because more people than you know identify as something other than cissexual and heterosexual. It is something that is scary for them when they first realize it sometimes. So not having support of people around them, or not know they have support can make them feel very isolated and very scared. When you start the conversation even if it’s just a lighthearted ‘Hey, you’re doing,?’ that can make them feel more comfortable around you.”

As part of her presentation, Heilveil explained terms used to describe gender identity and sexual orientation. She said she wanted her classmates to understand how someone might describe themselves. “I want you to understand the things I wish I knew in middle school, when instead of thinking I was a lesbian, I thought I was broken. I want you to be able to understand the words enough to reassure someone that they aren’t broken, that they’re normal, and natural, and fine.”